GETTING OLD Or GROWING UP?

Menjadi Tua Atau Bertambah Dewasa?

Ketika suatu hari terdapat diskusi hangat antara saya dengan istri. Pada momen itu saya menunjukkan perasaan bahwa saya tersinggung. Istri saya kemudian berkata: “ Sekarang koq mudah tersinggung ya? Itu gejala getting old lho.” Saya kemudian diam sejenak. Cepat tersinggung, marah, kecewa dengan perlakuan orang yang dirasakan kurang menghormati, mau dihargai, tidak mudah lagi bercanda, semua perkara menjadi sangat serius, ini ternyata adalah gejala getting old.

Getting Old adalah istilah untuk mengatakan bahwa seseorang bertambah tua. Oleh karena itu setiap orang pasti bertambah tua. Getting Old adalah keniscayaan. Banyak orang yang getting old tanpa growing up. Growing up adalah menjadi dewasa, semakin matang mengelola emosi, siap hidup sendiri, banyak kesibukan yang produktif dengan waktu yang dimiliki, bertanggung jawab atas tindakannya. Getting old ternyata sangat berbeda dengan growing up. Setiap orang tanpa berbuat apa-apa pasti akan getting old, tapi untuk growing up ternyata harus berbuat sesuatu atau mempersiapkan diri.

Growing up – menjadi dewasa perlu pengelolaan emosi, perlu persiapan yang sangat serius, mengurus banyak hal. Growing up berseberangan dengan kekanak-kanakan yaitu seperti mudah lari dari tanggung jawab, tidak mau berkomitmen, hanya mau yang manis-manis. Growing up menanggapi penderitaan dengan tenang, mengejar greatness – kebesaran jiwa bukan kenyamanan semata-mata, berani berkorban. Sekali lagi ini perlu persiapan.

Getting Old – membiarkan waktu berlalu, menyesali masa kini dan selalu menyanyikan kidung “Yesterday – I am not half the man I used to be” seperti lantunan the Beatles, glorifikasi masa lalu, dulu saya begini, dulu saya begitu – sekarang hanya lagu. Ini gejala getting old, menggurui, meremehkan orang lain, tersinggung. Ini rupanya gejala yang dicurigai oleh istri saya hinggap pada diri saya. 

Menanggapi sinyalemen istri, saya pun mulai berbenah dan memutuskan untuk growing up. Nasehat growing up bukan untuk anak kecil saja, bukan untuk anak muda saja tapi untuk segala usia. Banyak orang yang sudah dewasa meskipun usianya masih muda. Mari kita sama-sama membangun diri, grow up, menjadi dewasa jangan hanya getting old – menjadi tua. Sangat tragis kalau menjadi tua tanpa menjadi dewasa.

Boleh setuju boleh tidak. 

Jakarta, 26.09.2021

Getting Old or Growing Up?

One day my wife and I had a warm discussion. At that moment I expressed the feeling that I was offended. My wife then said: “Now why are you easily offended? That's a symptom of getting old you know." I then paused for a moment. Quick to be offended, angry, disappointed with the treatment of people who are felt to lack of respect, want to be appreciated, not easy to joke anymore, all things become very serious, and all of these turn out to be a symptom of getting old.

Getting Old is a term to say that someone is getting up in years. Therefore everyone must get old. Getting Old is inevitability. Many people are getting old without growing up. Growing up is becoming an adult, more mature in managing emotions, ready to live alone, many productive activities with the time they have, being responsible for their actions. In fact, getting old is very different from growing up. Everyone without doing anything will definitely get old, but for growing up it turns out that they have to do something or prepare themselves.

Growing up – becoming an adult requires emotional management, requires serious preparation, takes care of many things. Growing up is the opposite of childishness, such as it is easy to run away from responsibilities, don't want to commit, only want nice things. Growing up responds to suffering calmly, pursues greatness – greatness of soul is not mere comfort, dares to sacrifice. Again, this requires preparation.

Getting Old – letting time pass by, regretting the present and always singing the song “Yesterday – I am not half the man I used to be” like the Beatles melody, glorifying the past, I used to be like this, I used to be like that – now it's just a song. This is a symptom of getting old, patronizing, belittling others, being offended. This seems to be a symptom that my wife suspected had landed on me.

Responding to my wife's signal, I began to clean up and decided to grow up. Growing up advice is not just for children, not just for young people but for all ages. Many people have grown up or have been mature even though they are still young. Let's build ourselves together, grow up, become adults, don't just get old. It's tragic to get old without growing up. Whether to agree or not.

Supeno Lembang 

Jakarta, 26.09.2021